Every time I sit down to write my first blog post I feel like I have nothing to write. I took a blogging course, watched about a thousand YouTube videos, asked my sister-in-law to do a blog photoshoot with me and most painful of all – chose a domain name. All to land me here. Sitting in front of my laptop feeling as though someone unzipped the back of my brain and every thought I have ever had just fell right out. And with it all of my hopes and dreams of becoming a blogger. But once I get back to my senses and send Sabatage Sally packing, I remember that I have lots to write. Actually, I have so much to write about that I don’t even know where to begin. My life has felt messy and complicated. There are so many weird and odd parts that don’t all jive together.
And then I remember, life is complicated and messy. And all of us are on this journey together just trying to figure it all out one day at a time. I spent most of my twenties coping with my emotions in unhealthy ways – drinking, partying and shoving them down with food. I struggled with bulimia all of college and have always struggled to find a healthy relationship with food. Developing a myriad of symptoms including migraines, chronic back pain, digestion issues and severe anxiety to name a few around the age of 28, I started searching for answers first in western medicine before starting down the path of holistic health.
If I had to choose one word that I aspire to embody it is hope. Without hope we really don’t have much. We have nothing to grasp when we are walking through really really hard times. Hope is the ultimate game changer. And it is available to everyone. It doesn’t matter if you are wealthy, poor, how much you weigh, what your IQ score is, who your parents or the mistakes you have made. Jesus is the hope our world so desperately needs. He is the Way, the Truth and the Light. I had to go through some trials of my own to come by my own faith honesty. And if I am sure of anything in life now it is this: if you put your hope in Jesus He will not let you down.
I am not perfect. I mess up. Life is really hard sometimes. But that is okay. Life is supposed to be hard. Understanding that has helped me so much. Stop trying to do things the easy way. There is no true growth when you avoid every hard thing in life. True success and satisfaction comes from really going for it. Trying hard, doing your best, failing and then getting back up. Every failure in life is a lesson and opportunity for growth. Once you grasp this, everything becomes less “catastrophically devastating”. This blog is essentially me sharing a lot of failures that have led me to a lot of truths and understandings about life that I feel like could really help others who are walking a similar path.